Do you think there is a collective definition of beauty or is it always in the eye of the beholder?

Beauty should always be in the eye of the beholder. And, the beholder should be less influenced by the collective idea of beauty than most of us are.
I could write a diatribe on how our society makes people, women in particular, feel that they are worthless because the do not conform to societies idea of beauty, but I just don't feel like it. It's not that I don't feel like writing, it's just that I am coming to see that despite the truth in this idea, there is a bigger truth that if we could embrace it and teach it would change so much more than beauty.
We all need to accept responsibility for our own thoughts and actions.
I can hear the arguments now. But, other people can be cruel, even if I accept myself. Yes. They need to accept responsibility for that. Individually we need to accept responsibility for our responses to the cruelty. I have a niece who recently was treated poorly by a girl she thought was her friend. It was a case of the girl had a new friend who didn't want to play with my niece. (That is the extremely short version of the story!) Instead of blaming the former friend my niece sought advice from her parents about how to overcome this situation and regain the friendship or find a new friend. Because of my niece's attitude and her parents' wisdom she was able to bridge the rift and not only have a return of a friend, but the possibility of a new friend. Who is this new friend? The girl who did not want to hang out with my niece in the first place.
A happy ending? I hope so. It gives me hope because I see my niece accepting responsibility for her response to a hurtful situation. I see the former stranger accepting responsibility by admitting she just didn't know my niece and that is why she precipitated the exclusion. I see the vacillating child accept responsibility by initiating a play date where both her initial friend, my niece, and her new friend can become acquainted and possibly develop their own friendship.
I'm not about to change the world with my one little post or even my hope in those who try this, but lately I have found less and less motivation to complain about things. Even complaining about how most people won't follow this principle feels wrong. I want to feel hope. I want to have this hope spark an inner beauty in anyone who has it that everyone can see.